The South and I don't get along very well.

When we decided we were moving to Nashville, we heard over and over and over again about how different 'The South' was going to be from what I was used to.  I don't think Josh was really expecting any big changes having spent three years in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, but I knew that I was in for some changes.  I'm still not really sure what everyone was expecting me to have to get used to, but I have started my personal list of reasons The South and I probably won't ever be besties.  (Sorry Amelia!)

From the Wikipedia Commons for The South

*I probably should mention that I have no idea if ANY of these things have anything to do with The South, or just Nashville, or just our block, or just my imagination.  But I'm going to pin them on The South anways.  Oops.

1.  Nashville stinks all the time!  And I mean, like, all the time.  Sometimes it smells like trash, sometimes it smells like stale Pirates of the Caribbean water that's been underground for 20 years, sometimes, it just plain makes you hold your breath.

When we first moved, I thought maybe it just smelled because it was hot.  Like they say Venice smells bad in the summertime because whatever it is that smells heats up or something, I thought maybe Nashville was like that.  Hot, humid summertime brings out the smelliest of her.  You'll also notice though, Nashville stinks when it rains.  It's like, rain hits the pavement here, and rebounds as noxious fumes.  No idea if that's true, but I promise, it's not nice.  And then, once it's done raining, all that moisture becomes hot and humid air, which smells more (see above).

So it smells when it's hot and when it's wet, I can handle that...but then, walking down the road, you'll inevitably cross horrid smells over and over for maybe no reason at all.  I have some theories.  I think the entire earth is molding under the surface here.  Sometimes when a moist leaf gets turned over in the mornings, you can tell it had been growing a lovely layer of mold on the ground side.  I bet all the bushes and leaves and grass and soil we walk by is just breeding nasty smelling mold.  I also think there is some kind of strange, waxy plant they use has a hedging plant (for instance, at the building I work at), that gives off a super nasty stench.  Maybe it's just the soil underneath, but I have a feeling there's something more going on.  You shouldn't have to hold your breath every time you walk along the hedge!

So not only are we battling these unknown, possibly moisture related icky smells, but we also have a neighbor who has decided to use her building's dumpster to deposit all kinds of spoiled produce.  I'm not sure if she lives there, or owns the building, or just picked a dumpster to continually dump her trash in, but about once a week, a lady in a red pickup pulls up to the dumpster and starts throwing heaps of bags of spoiled lettuce, or chunks of sweet potato, or piles of onions, or whatever, into the dumpster we walk by every day.  You can tell she's visited not only by the stench, but also because she often leaves behind one of those huge cardboard boxes they put watermelons or pumpkins or the like out in the store in.  Not cool, red truck, not cool.

2.  Rats and possums are not okay, ever!  Both are disgusting, neither are welcome, and both have been spotted alarmingly close to where I get in and out of my car (or close enough, at least).

First the rats.  One of Josh's friends suggested we all get hot chicken (it's fried chicken, not sure why Nashville calls it something different, but they do) and take it to Centennial Park (two blocks from the apartment) for a nice, outside, summer dinner.  Great idea, however, where we parked our little picnic happened to be in a pavilion that had been claimed by a large, yucky, disgusting pack of rats.  So most of us ate our dinner with our feet in our laps watching all sides of the pavilion as these yucky things ran circles around us and occasionally ventured across a corner of the pavilion and wayyy too close for comfort.  I'm pretty sure I made Josh carry me back to the car.  Lets just say we won't choose Centennial Park for any more evening meals.  NOT OKAY, NASHVILLE, NOT OKAY.

Disney possums from Bambi

As for the possums...they do not look like the sweet tree hanging friends from Splash Mountain or Bambi.  Or really, they do, because that's how I recognized them.  They're just not as sweet looking when they're real.  We pulled out of our garage the other night only to have, what at first glance could have been an extremely large rat, staring at us.  It only took me a few seconds to realize it was, in fact, a possum, and then panic regarding the fact that these creatures exist, and in close proximity to us.  And then, just last night, Josh slammed on the breaks as we drove home because something had darted across the street and almost met our tires.  This something being a HUGE, fox-sized possum that I am really, really glad didn't actually touch my car.  NOT OKAY, NASHVILLE, NOT OKAY.

3.  Bugs, Bugs, Bugs.  Ew.  Lets be honest.  I've never been good with bugs.  Honestly, I barely enjoy sweet, fluffy, house trained animals, but bugs are the far opposite side (surpassed only recently by possums).  And apparently, The South and bugs have a thing going on.  Because there are some nasty, huge, disgusting things here.  And not just, here or there you might meet a huge spider on your horseback ride through the jungle, but more like, you probably should always walk on the street side of the sidewalk because if you look too closely at the bushes, swarms of nasty red wasps might appear.  Or something like that.  All bugs make my list of not okays, but especially the nasty red ones.  The color is an indication that they should be far away from me.  But it seems both the nasty red wasps, and the backyard cookout loving nasty red flying beetle thing, are inevitable.  I told Josh if we're ever going to have a back patio, it's going to have to be screened in.  For this same reason, we have actually never opened our one apartment window - for fear anything might venture in.

It's probably worth noting that for approximately three nights, I thought that I might like lightning bugs.  See, my dad and I had never seen them before, and then when we came out here in June, we saw a few in the field on our walk back from dinner.  They were neat.  But not too many nights later, a friend of Josh's caught him one and let it crawl around on his hand.  This firefly went very quickly from cool, animated glowing orb like the one in Princess and the Frog, to nasty bug that doesn't belong anywhere close.  Magic gone.

 While The South and I might never get along, I am learning to overcome or avoid these new hurtles in order to appreciate the sweet things about living in Nashville.  And for the most part, I think I'll survive.  I might possibly require Josh to carry me through parks at night or throw rocks ahead of us as we walk down the sidewalk to our building, but I think that's a burden he's willing to carry.

I thought I'd end with a list of positives The South has added to our lives:

1.  Because Josh "made me move here," he has to let me eat good 'ole Southern Bluebell ice cream every night.  Serious deal.  It's what I look forward to every night.
2.  I really enjoyed the fresh Georgia peaches this summer.  I don't know if that's because they were better because we are closer, or just because it was a phase I went through, but I would still count it as a positive.
3.  I'm pretty sure fall is going to be breathtaking.  I mean, it's not here yet, but there are a whole lot of leaves here.
4.  I'm becoming a football fan.  Something about working at the school bookstore, living so close to the stadium, and being in the SEC has made going to games and rooting for the Commodores a highlight.  And somehow, that is carrying over to enjoying the Broncos and their awesome season start.  Which in total, is really contributing to our marriage, as it is really fun for Josh to share with me all his volumes of football knowledge.  :)

So I guess, in total, the good is outweighing the bad.  Thanks to Bluebell and the SEC.


Thanks for reading!